@littlegiinge
@gitson_shiggles Had a yard sale to raise some much-needed cash. I really miss that yard.
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@gitson_shiggles 
@vladchoc For job interviews, your best bet is to dress as a pizza delivery person, march in and say “Who ordered DILIGENCE and ATTENTION TO DETAIL!?”
@robdelaney My wife just put down a magazine & said “I have to stop reading this article because the author said she named her son Gideon.” ❤❤❤
@TheHyyyype you want me to drink water. the thing that killed jack in titanic
@rtothegow Like most parents, I live in fear of the day I have to explain PRETTY WOMAN to my daughter.
@ilovepie84 My coworker Gwynn broke her leg slipping on ice and didn’t even laugh when I called her Pain-Gwynn
@TheAlexNevil Movies Lesson #5: very few people die while trying to get from one hotel room to another using the ledge outside, so give it a shot.
@clairehoworth Sexiest Man Alive implies there’s a Sexiest Man Dead
@Brianhopecomedy I probably should’ve said, “Congrats on your 4th child!” instead of “Halfway there, OctoMom”.
@dafloydsta 1. OMG will this ever end?
2. OMG will this ever end?
3. OMG will this ever end?-top 3 things on my mind when I’m in a a conversation