@ilovepie84

I’m not trying to be racist but black people are darker than white people.

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@BuddWest

Ima weiner. Damn I meant winer. Dammit I’m a winner. Hucked on fonics it made me look like an moroon.

@TinksEyeView

There are many reasons relationships don’t work out.
DIstance should never be one of them.
You want them?
Go get them Xxx

@Havish_AF

I’m sorry you think my tweets are shitty. You probably shouldn’t have inspired them.

@Inconsteveable

If my ex taught me one thing it’s that women don’t like it when you sneak in their bedroom to watch them sleep after you’ve divorced.

@TrophyCatas

When I’m feeling inadequate, I remember that there are women who marry their prison pen pals, and then my own decisions don’t seem so bad.

@iAmDelFreaky

I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn’t even lift him. We high-fived & laughed.

@Shariv67

Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.

@LoveRebelRock

I don’t hate kids, I hate sociopathic little assholes raised by yuppie cunts who feel saying “no” will stifle the child’s creativity…

@noog

When did white people become such fucking pussies?

@GingerHotDish

Some of us just had a bee in our shirt and we weren’t actually KungFu fighting.