I’m pretty certain the first nudist colonies were started by parents who refused to do any more laundry and said screw it, we’re all going naked. Cuz same.
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I’ve never related to a meme more in my life #gradschool
I wear workout clothes to get Burger King breakfast so the drive thru lady thinks I worked out first. Dont be afraid to live your best life.
cows are very calm considering the whole floor is food
[Back To the Future, 2018]
Marty’s dad: She texted me back! What do I say??
Marty: I got it. Lemme see…*sends SpongeBob gif and immediatly starts disappearing*
[afterlife]
ME: is this heaven or hell
SPIRIT: idk why don’t you bing it
ME: oh noooooo
How single am I? I just took a jar of spaghetti sauce to 7-11 to see if the cashier could open it for me.
The best part about Facebook is never having to wonder what your acquaintance’s baby is doing all day everyday day.
Grandpa: Music today is terrible
Me: Here, try this *hands him iPod*
Grandpa: Fine *slides iPod into tape deck*
I know my son will be a good dad one day, because I dropped a plate and he said “now things are getting out of hand” with a straight face
[Disney Pitch Meeting]
Writer: So kids love puppies
Exec: Haha true
Writer: This movie is about skinning alive 101 of them
Exec: First off, it’s perfect