I’m too immature for adultery.

You Might Also Like


Whenever I see a hot girl on the streets I’m like HOLY CRAP I’M OUTSIDE.


The most useful lesson I learned from my cat is if somebody puts clothing on you, just freeze and flop over on your side.


Just saw my parents having sex. That’s the last time I go onto that website.


I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred?
The top ans was
GET the hell outta of my bathroom!


*goes to the gym*

*takes a selfie & posts it on Facebook for the wife to see*

*hurries to the bar*


Just updated My Facebook status from “Single” to “In a Trinity”. #wayoverdue


When an unattractive woman in a bar asks me my sign I tell her “Stop.”


“Owen, you must hide this baby, at all costs, from Anakin Skywalker.”
“Okay. Should we continue to call him Luke Skywalker?”
“Seems fine.”