@Darlainky

Interviewer- Marlene, what inspired you to pursue a life of comedy?

Marlene- Well, I’m glad you asked…
*Mouth directly on mic*
YOUR FACE

You Might Also Like

@fabulouscop

*man with beerbelly waiting outside elementary school*
*teacher walks towards man*
“are you expecting a child?”
“no thats from all the beer”

@HuffPostComedy

Louis C.K. perfectly sums up Boston accents in his new special ‘Live At The Comedy Store’

@HenpeckedHal

They should have to tell you that there will be a 20-parent group text when you’re signing your kids up for little league.

@Burger_Time_

ppl always judge adam & eve for listening to the talking serpent but u never hear a single person say anything about dr doolittle

@slaughthie

Someone told me they dont get tattoos cuz “you dont put bumper stickers on a Ferrari” which was weird bc he was a 92 Chevy caprice at best

@dumbbeezie

Kids who were good at lying grew up to be meteorologists

@VeronicaJArt

I heard somebody refer to “The Shape of Water” as “Grinding Nemo” and I’m never going to get over it.

@pleatedjeans

[filling out birth certificate]
Me: we’re naming him Greg
Doctor who used to be Starbucks barista: [writes “Grork”]

@Gupton68

The first rule of fight club is: you do not tell mom that I let you watch fight club, kids