Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat’s just being dramatic.

You Might Also Like


If chickens ate human eggs we’d probably be in some kind of chicken war.


“Bob’s here”
Bob from work or Bob THE HARBINGER OF DEATH
*an icy wind blows as black clouds consume the sky*
“Bob from work”
*clouds recede*


don’t smoke pots because they are made of clay and can burn your tongue


I’m sorry you’re just not NASA material
Well, you wrote ‘red’ then crossed it out & put ‘human’ under blood type on your application.


I brought a glue gun to a knife fight. Those knives aren’t going anywhere.


Astronaut: Dave, that’s not necessary in zero-G.

Penguin: [flapping wings] Just let me have this.


How to paint a live flamingo:

1. Get a live flamingo
2. Paint it


My toddler’s plan for today is to ‘throw snowballs at all the peoples’ so I’m really looking forward to picking her up from daycare later