It still works 🤷🏼♀️
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The gardener at my work put beer in the garden to catch slugs
SO GUESS WHO JUST BECAME A SLUG
I usually base my religious and political beliefs on flyers and pamphlets handed to me on the street.
my friend got banned from this bar so she waited like a year and started going back everyday like nothing happened and the other day the bar tender looked at her and was like “you look so much like this crazy girl we had to ban a while back”
professor x: what’s your superpower?
me: heavy-handed product placement
professor kfc: that’s finger lickin’ good
RABBIT HUSBAND: You look even better after a full day of work. I don’t know how you do it, honey.
RABBIT WIFE: They test cosmetics on me.
Starting another round of pottery classes. I may just be a beginner, but I’m feeling inspired. What should I make tonight?
a. A bowl
or
b. A bowl
It would be cool if a jar of Nutella had more than one serving in it…
Australia is like someone’s still playing jumanji
Get yourself a cat who can do plumbing 🙂🐾
me: dating sucks, lot of weirdos out there
me on dates: hey i had three beers before you got here do you believe in ghosts