it’s rude to tell someone they’re incorrect. A more polite response is, “Did you know you’re incorrect?”
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If mental stability was measured by the type of tweets we laughed at, straight jackets would be the new black.
Cool prank: lead 50 pugs to the top of a waterslide & send them down 1 by 1 as the parents waiting at the bottom get increasingly confused
People can be dangerous when they have too much power. Giving my 5yo a balloon sword is a perfect example of this.
My wife wouldn’t let me sling shot candy at trick or treaters tonight.
This is bullshit.
I’m told as a lady in my 30s I shouldn’t wear certain things anymore – like halter tops, pigtails, and the scalps of my vanquished enemies.
Top 3 times you should never play with a woman’s hair:
1) When she’s angry.
2) Just had a haircut.
3) If you don’t know her.
It happened. I witnessed the most Philly thing ever.
A fight broke out DURING a showing of the Mister Rogers movie.
There are two types of people in the world, those who are sure they locked the main door and those who are sure they didn’t, and they’re married to eachother.
Hmm I don’t really wanna commit 2 hours to watching a movie
*watches 12 straight hours of a tv show on Netflix*
The closer the wasp is, the slower the window rolls up.
It’s real life horror movie science