Remember fellas, always take comfort in the fact that most hot girls are a fuckin pain in the arse
Just yelled “out of my way monsters!” at a flock of seagulls, so I’m done interacting socially for the day
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Sadiq’s joke in today’s Time Out 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Let’s get married and have kids so instead of doing fun stuff on the weekend we can go to a kid’s birthday party where everyone coughs.
My password is ELEPHANT. It may not be the strongest but I never forget.
I just saw Madonna climb out of a hollowed out tree trunk in the woods near my house.
Just some repair guys and me at work right now. If a pizza delivery guy and a director show up, I’m leaving.
“You get a Bible! You get a Bible! You get a Bible! You all get Biibbbllleess!!!!
– much ado about nothing
– 2 much 2 nothing
– much ado 3: toyko drift
– much nothing
– much 5
– much ado 6
– nothing 7
What personal space?
Should I fix the hail damage on my car? I mean, not everyone can say their car resembles a golf ball.