@nerdamage I want to cover you in expensive things like gasoline.
@kolchak Justin Bieber songs are much more enjoyable when you replace the word “girl” with “gerbil”.
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@nerdamage 
@SondraDeeMe My boyfriend called my skirt a petticoat and now he’s paying bills using a quill on parchment paper wearing his wooden false teeth.
@HollyMemphis If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be?
@JimmerThatisAll I only studied genetics so I would know who to blame.
@MrsGoose69 I got a pet hyena because someone has to laugh at my tweets…
@SwirlySkittles Playing Tubular Bells to end the baptism wasn’t quite the closing my aunt was looking for but in my defense it did clear out the church.
@archeohistories Some Things Never Change 😀
#archaeohistories
@yoyoha Leaving a watermelon on someone’s doorstep in the middle of night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.
@nettie0918 Fastest way to occupy bored kids is to announce we are going to clean
Voila
Suddenly they all remember plans they’ve forgotten
Ah quiet
@DurtMcHurtt [kung fu fight]
“Your tiger claw is no match for my crane.”
*starts lifting heavy building materials*