Let’s normalize using the term “Cooking Wine” to refer to the wine we drink while cooking.

You Might Also Like


[gets found guilty of murder]
[sentenced to 3 years of listening to Pitbull on repeat]
[gets sentence reduced to lethal injection]


Me: *slides note to bank teller*
Bank Teller: So….you’re not robbing us, you just want to take a selfie with “mad cash” on your face?


DOCTOR 1: There’s a tumor in your head the size of a baby carrot.

PATIENT: Oh my god. {starts crying}

DOCTOR: {trying to comfort} Yeah I hate carrots too.


son you’re getting older and one way I show my trust in you is letting you tackle some tough jobs on your own;
bathing the cat for starters


Accidentally fell asleep smoking an e-cigarette and when I woke up my whole house was on the internet.


My excitement about your Indian food is largely dependent on your pronunciation of “cumin”.


*leaves the kids w/ a new babysitter

*calls to check on the sitter


I could totally identify with REM if the song had been called “Losing my Shit” instead