Like anyone has time to sit there and read 12,412 product reviews on Amazon.

[8 hours later]

Yeah, I’m def not buying this pillow.

You Might Also Like


[after plane flies upside down for a full minute]
pilot: sorry about that turbulence folks i was having a nightmare


*Leaving the bar with a hot girl*

Girl: I’m on my menstrual cycle. I hope you don’t mind.

Me: Not a problem. I’m on my moped, I’ll follow you.


#SignsAGuyDoesntLikeYou he takes a long time to reply to your letters and blames it on the “prison mail system”


[kool-aid man catches son sneaking in and smells his breath] is that…hawaiian punch?
“dad i can explain”


[On WebMD]
I have a sore throat
[Throat cancer]
I wasn’t done, and a stomach ache.
Couldn’t it be the flu?
[If it wasn’t cancer]


Nothing is worse than having a cranberries song stuck in your head, in your head, in your heeeeeeeeeeaaaad zombie zombie zombie eee eee


Coworker: You look angry.

Me: I’m not.

CW: Really angry.



Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend has clearly never worn leggings.


Some parenting days swing very quickly and extremely between “I’d die for my kid” and “I know why some animals eat their young”.