@kimquindlen

Literally any podcast host asking their guest a question

You Might Also Like

@Brianhopecomedy

My wife’s online shopping downstairs so I’m upstairs logged on to the same site and deleting everything in her cart.

@mamatomy3

My husband ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. He’s told every other person on earth and I didn’t want y’all to be out of the loop.

@brianbowman73

I think this lady I’m stalking just found out. She changed her wifi name to:
“Hey you in the tree. I’ve called the cops.”

@choniepony

Bong hits bring all the cheetos to my jaw, and it’s like, nom nom nom nom.

@Try2StopME

She: “I am expecting…”

Me: “Whoa! Congrats.”

She: “…someone at 3.”

@Brianhopecomedy

Came back from the doctor and told my wife that I was perfectly healthy and I could’ve sworn she mouthed the word “crap”.

@Parentpains

Marriage is seeing your spouse happy, and wondering if it’s because they’re fantasizing your death.

@FromMinivan

Two days after I bring my newborn daughter home from the hospital:

22 month old son: When’s she going back?

Me: Back where?

Son: To her house at the hospital.

Me: She lives with us now.

Son: Mommy, you’re not making
good choices.