Longest English word:
‘pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosi’Longest Spanish word: ‘GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL’
You Might Also Like
[at a dance]
HER: why don’t you take the lead
ME [eating fifth pencil]: way ahead of ya
Don’t go around saying you hate all people. Attractive people who have a lot of money are really lovable.
Jehovah’s Witness’: Have you given any thought to the afterlife?
Me: Depends, are you two gonna be there?
J.W: Why yes..
[slams the door]
Me: Wanna have sex?
Wife: With you or in general?
If your date asks what you do for a living, just say “You let me worry about that.”
My fella asked me to name all my sexual partners. I took a couple of minutes to list them and eventually got to him. Should of stopped there
My tumbleweed is never where I left it.
Me *naked, singing into a shower head*
Karaoke manager: uh, we have a mic
My 3-year-old was having yogurt for breakfast. He decided to pretend it was ice cream. Then got mad at me because it really wasn’t ice cream.
There aren’t enough condom ads in the world.
“Wearing horizontal stripes will make you look bigger and really stand out.”
Young Waldo: (whispering) Some day I’ll prove you wrong.