Seeing a lot of Facebook posts about kids going to school but not seeing any follow ups about them coming home, what in the damn hell is going on
“machines will soon be as smart as people” ok but WHICH people
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Welcome to your 30s. Water gives you heartburn.
HOW ARE SPOTTED OWLS ENDANGERED IF THEY’RE ALWAYS BEING SEEN
When improv teams ask for suggestions, I like to yell “Learn a trade before your father cuts you off financially!”
The house is clean, just don’t open any drawers or doors.
[taking baby’s shoes off]
Oh what a surprise. Clean soles. It’s almost as if you were carried everywhere.
HER: Let me know when you get your shit together.
ME: So I guess this is goodbye.
It’s weird that when demons possess people, they rarely seem to speak the same language. It speaks to an underlying problem of managerial disorganization in hell imo
Who says Republicans aren’t into recycling?
Mitt Romney’s thinking of running for President, again.
ohhhhhh today’s Friday the 13th, that explains the last two years