*Gets back at the birds by pooping on their bird houses*
Marital Law & Martial Law while look similar have very different meanings…
.. Except at my house.
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Some people exercise on purpose by rowing little boats.
Canoe believe that?
maybe if millennials didn’t buy an avocado toast every single day, then they could afford to purchase a house in 1955 like everyone else.
“What if we put wheels on this toilet?”
*inventor of the RV
I’d get in the back of their van if they told me they had a phone charger in it.
“No matter what it is, two chews and a swallow is all you need. Efficiency is the key…”
Who needs Botox when some discreetly placed scotch tape and social distancing are a thing.
[cuddling w/ 5 yr old son]
I hope he wants to do this forever
[25 yrs later]
this has lost its charm
Him: Wanna come back to my place for a bit?
Me: I thought you’d never ask
Him: Oh, really? *winks*
Me: Yes, I need somewhere less crowded to summon the Dark Lord
Who is feeling this?