“So, is there a MRS. A-Z?” – Lady hitting on Jason Mraz
MARRIED WHITE FEMALE in search of someone to remove holiday cookies and treats from her hands. Must be of strong constitution.
You Might Also Like
I love Yahoo Answers because no matter how bizarre my question, someone in the world has already thought of it. And thats really comforting.
Watching Home Alone in 1990: oh poor Kevin, all alone with no family to celebrate the holidays
Watching Home Alone in 2018: that lucky little punk
I’m sure it’s fine.
BBC crime shows on Netflix:
– Inspector Grimpenchester
– The Hangman’s Ax
– Get Me Bumblry!
– Miss Lettie Pennyfeather’s Detective Concern
Me: Who ate all the cookies?
Me: I didn’t see them.
5-year-old: No one ever does.
My cat looks at me like “I would have been a god in ancient Egypt, I’ll have you know”.
I find it ironic that several times a day I have to let a computer know that I’M not a robot.
check in attendant: are you flying alone?
me: I’ll probably need a pilot
[doing an identification at the coroner’s office]
It’s not her; my wife has a head.