I haven’t been in my bathroom ever since my daughter told me she had “done a number four”.
Me: god you’re sexy
Her (sultry whisper): I’ll bet you say that to all the women
Me (sultry whisper): not my mom
You Might Also Like
Just how hairy was the person who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?
Going as a hashtag for Halloween so everybody ignores me.
my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard / their like, is this organic? do u hav a vegan option? can u make it with froyo insted
Watched The Little Mermaid with my girl last night & realized that Aerial could be on an episode of Hoarders. : /
I would correct your grammar but you don’t use any.
As the best book lists of 2021 drop
this isn’t my first rodeo
– what my 5yr old just yelled as he wrote “rodeo” for the 2nd time
Whenever my girlfriend and I share a meal, I let her have the first bite because I’m a gentleman.
Also, to see if it’s been poisoned.
Show me your pushy.
– Sean Connery shext