its always terifying when im alone in my apartment and i hear a small child’s voice say “hello” becuase i dread making smalltalk
me: hips like a canadian goose
girl in club: is that good?
You Might Also Like
SHOUTS OUT TO UTERUSES, THE ORIGINAL 3-D PRINTERS
I fail to see how his relationship status is of any relevance
*Where do YOU see ME in 5 years..
Just explained the Higgs boson to my friend even tho I don’t understand it. He was very convinced. I bet this is how religions get started.
I’m in charge of Blockbuster’s late rentals now.
Does the name Road Hogs mean anything to you?
How bout now?
SUPERMAN: *lifts an entire aircraft carrier*
THAT ONE GUY AT THE GYM: But what you really want is reps.
I just read an Amazon review (not for one of my books) that said “it feels like the author was just making it up as they went along” and I can’t stop laughing. Like, dude, I hate to tell you this…
My son just threatened to not talk to me for the rest of the day.
I’m 3% offended and 97% hoping he follows through.