@fightforfood We get it, cacti, you have great biceps.
@foodfacenow Me: I can’t seem to lose weight
CW: Have you tried cutting back on your sugar intake
Me:*stirring coffee with snickers bar* What do you mean
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@fightforfood 
@Darlainky I’m not usually a fan of non-fiction, but this Cheesecake Factory menu is a real page turner.
@danfornace Steam Forums
@LloBrow 
@captainolya My week is basically:
Monday
Monday #2
Monday #3
Monday #4
Friday
Saturday
Pre-Monday
@NapVeg breaking: earthling wins 70th consecutive miss universe title
@XplodingUnicorn What was the point in making your car louder, bro?
Do you really want women to turn their heads and notice you drive a 1999 Honda Civic?
@hibbary Barney only he’s just a regular T Rex who doesn’t know why he’s been left in charge of young mammals or where their parents are, but he’s a total dad so he’s gonna do it.
@Swishergirl24 I’m developing an app that makes a cricket sound effect at the end of my coworkers’ stories.
@david8hughes I’m impressed by girls who paint their eyebrows on. How do you pick one facial expression for the whole day? Like what if you find a penny?