Objection your honor! He’s badgering the witness lmao
*Courtroom erupts in laughter*
Badger: Ok seriously I’m a lawyer and deserve respect
Me: it’s too expensive, I no longer enjoy it, I want to unsubscribe
Therapist: I’m afraid adulthood is permanent
You Might Also Like
“I’ll never forget you Jack”
“Can I float on that wood too, Rose?”
“I’ll always remember you”
“Seems like there’s room for–”
not enough men these days put fish in their mouth and pull out the entire skeleton in tact
SPELLING BEE: spell “configurable”
SPELLING BEE: (interupting) yes i am a bee but i fail to see why thats relevant
Cats REALLY hate dryers.
However, Patches has Never looked this fluffy
Can’t believe how divided we’ve become over an election. It’s not like it’s the color of a dress or something.
Guys love legs. Women, if you can grow more legs that would be a major turn on
sighs “always the predator, never the prey…”
What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates:
1. Nice shirt.
2. Wow. A second nice shirt.
3. Okay, first shirt again.
4. He has two shirts.
The movie ‘Up’ is utter bullshit. I tied 57,000 balloons to my house & my wife didn’t die.