Angel: It’s been a long day, how about just one more thing?
God: Give that dog a wetsuit & lets go the pub.
Me: promise you won’t show anyone?
H: that’s pics of fruit snacks
M: you said you wanted pics of my goods
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Of all my mistakes, you were the mistakiest
Me: I love doing dishes while listening to my favorite boy band
Me: no Sarah, I wash my dishes in the refrigerator
I was living with this woman for almost 6 years.
Then she noticed.
How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face
“Treat her like a princess” everybody said.
Then they get mad when I marry her off to a cousin from a neighboring country for political gain.
Couldn’t look worse today.
Time to run into an ex…
Do-it-yourself home remodeling usually starts in the kitchen and ends in the depths of Hell.
A $300 dollar bat won’t fix a $2 dollar swing
-life lessons from Softball Coach
Donald Trump is probably the closest we’ll ever get to electing Eric Cartman president.