me talking to family:
βΆπββββββββ 00:02me talking to friends:
βΆ πββββββββ 00:06me going through the Wiki pages for the Netflix βPopplesβ series & live action Flintstones movies:
βΆ πββββββββ 1:54:28![]()
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I lost my voice so basically I’m every mans dream girl right now.
*slips $5 to the mortician*
Me: How about – stop screaming – how about you give me another 10 minutes, this is a great place to nap.
Happy mothers day to all the moms out there.
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Another wedding, another chance to show the family I still have a drinking problem.
Ha, I told my brother that carbon had seven protons and he believed me. He was mean to me when we were kids.
Sorry I headbutted you, I was gonna punch you but, I was holding wine.
Scientist “human beings are psychologically prone to fundamentally misjudging probabilities.”
Me “That sounds really unlikely.”
Sorry, I can’t make it. Can’t find my “goin out” sweatpants.
Midnight shift 6 of 8: I punched a mirror because it was dark and I thought my reflection was an intruder, I wait at stop signs for them to turn green and I tried to unlock the fridge with my car keys. This is life now.
Accidentally left the plunger in the toilet, so yeah the wife is wide awake now.