Kids want to play with the box the toys come out of.
Men want to play with the box the kids come out of.
Meets girl at bar.
Takes her to Ikea.
Quickly learns the difference between one-night stand and one nightstand.
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Does Rapunzel use the shampoo “Head & Shoulders, knees & Toes.”
[Adam and Eve in bed]
Adam, am I really the only girl for you?
GOD EVE, YOU’RE LITERALLY THE ONLY GIRL ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH
“So, is there a MRS. A-Z?” – Lady hitting on Jason Mraz
If we just refer to ISIS as “Nickelback” maybe nobody will want to join them
“Asparagus!!!” – italian guy named Gus pleading for his life
The Wizard of Oz (1939): A Kansas runaway discovers the psychedelic powers of blunt-force head trauma.
Ive just finished writing my first ever childrens novel. It’s called ‘We’re poor because of you’.
Me: Did you see this photo of Abraham Lincoln riding a giraffe?
Her: I’m pretty certain that’s been photoshopped
Me: don’t be ridiculous, they didn’t have photoshop back then
As the best book lists of 2021 drop