@SonOfCha I know a guy who doesn’t love Raymond.
@LittleHarmonica Men always say they like strong, smart women until you argue with them. And then they’re all like: You talk too much….and I want my Mommy.
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@SonOfCha 
@chairkeyre The older I get the less I care about bringing all the groceries inside in one trip
@theB6Chronicles WHAT DO WE WANT!?
A forum for passive aggressive behavior!
WHEN do we want it?
NOW would be great but you seem busy sooo whatever.
@XplodingUnicorn Me: Can I take a peak?
Park ranger: You mean “peek,” right?
Me: *steals the top of a mountain*
@bencoffeehall My report card always said I was not living up to my full potential. Well, the joke’s on them. That really was as good as I was going to get
@nedroid here’s my dating advice. Take your date to go-karts. everyone loves go-karts. I just solved your life. you’re welcome
@Jarhead44 I hate when I wake up in a strange house, & have to go outside to look at a license plate to figure out what state I’m in.
@velvettusk A summer getaway for women that date younger guys in the bathroom & want to learn to carve cantaloupe?
John Cougar Melon Camp
@TheTweetOfGod Shit, I missed Jesus’s birthday, didn’t I?
@filth_waste how are we gonna sell our car this year? how about a commercial where the car is driving around on roads. great work everyone time for lunch