Mugger: “Hand over your card and give me your PIN number!”
Me: “My personal identification number number?”
*he stabs me*
You Might Also Like
Got fired as a detective.
I have no clue why
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
The most important meal of the day is the next one
4: am i asleep?
me:
4: mom??
me: i…i feel like this is a trick
Them: You look tired.
Me: *punches them in their face* Well, you look injured.
All I’m saying is if you’ve ever seen me put patio furniture covers on, you’d NEVER ask me to put a condom on.
i either just registered my car online or i’m licensed to import rare birds now
it’s a van. how do they not know this
Parents be like “i don’t have a favorite child” then use one of your siblings birth dates as a password
I highly recommend anything.
– Stoners.