@mellimelle
@bmarked21 Hey girls: FYI, if you tilt the camera up just a wee bit higher you can actually get your face in the picture.
You Might Also Like
@bmarked21 
@Floatersfinest People laugh cos I’ve got 3 cats, but come the next Ice Age, when I speed past you on my cat sled, who’ll be laughing then?
@jus4golf If life was fair, piñatas would take sticks and beat the shit outta little kids to get their candy back.
@AndyShulk Do cannibals just upload a bunch of pictures of their friends on Instagram?
@sarabethkay “What are you typing? Let me guess. Oh wait, stop right there, I know what it is. It’s not that? Okay wait.. I know it, I know it!” -Google.
@WilliamRodgers Him: So whattayou wanna do?
Her: I dunno
Him: So…You wanna play video games?
Her: No!
Him: So…You wanna watch me play video games?
@MetteAngerhofer Where’s the Google setting that says “I’m researching this for my job. I don’t actually want a roll of a thousand coffee mug stickers”?
@Randazzoj Instead of racism or misogyny, why not hate the people who wear pyjamas and slippers to the airport?
@ch000ch if she doesn’t reciprocate ur first “i love u”, press ur finger to ur strategically placed bluetooth & say “oh cool u love me too? nice”
@BenOnus_Kenobus Him: How ’bout this rain?
Me: It makes my asshole itchy.
And that, my friends, is why you don’t talk to strangers on elevators.