@NYC_Blonde

My favorite part of The Bachelor is when a crazy emotional girl starts crying and he’d rather kiss her snot-nosed face than listen to her.

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@AlarminglyBad

This feels like a totally reasonable reaction

#comics #webcomic #snowman #frosty

@RobSprance

If McDonalds wants to check my $10 bill for signs of counterfeit, I should be able to check their chicken for chicken.

@Thynebear

*calls into work*

“yo boss i’m real sick”

“you don’t sound sick…”

“ya, just got a new tribal tat & heelys”

“wow u do sound hella sick”

@Reverend_Scott

Apparently you can’t make a baby by adding water to baby powder, so don’t waste your time.

@NotThatKevin

At a local restaurant, I got on one knee and she said yes. 13 years later I haven’t got the balls to tell her I was just chasing a crouton.

@its_P_bitches

I don’t have a go-bag, but if I did, it would contain absolutely everything I could possibly need and I would leave it at home.

@jakelikesnaps

*locks hands with stranger in elevator*
im nervous, this is my first time flying

@krishna_van

I AM THE MAN OF THIS HOUSE AND WHAT I SAY GOES in one ear and out the other.

@Social_Mime

What’s the difference between a $20 steak and a $85 steak?

February 14th.