Sorry, michael00008765348921652. I’ve already found my partner and definitely don’t want to get to know you better.
“My favorite sex fantasy starts with you bringing me wine…”
Mmmm and then?
“You close the door from outside.”
You Might Also Like
Witnessing a person attempt to use a word that is beyond their comprehension is like watching a dog eat a bee.
I hate it when all of North America tells me I exaggerate
Disease doesn’t care if you are a celebrity, Micheal J. Fox has battled Parkinson for 22 years, and Jamie Lee Curtis is super irregular!
Either you die or it’s a good trampoline. There’s no in-between.
Finally all the people in the White House are being polite. They are all running around saying “pardon me.”
clean window: [exists]
toddlers: what’s that taste like
*pulling up to toll both with megaphone in hand*
Booth operator: ma’am please not again
Me: someBODY once tolled me—
Never let the printer know that you are in a hurry.