My forgiveness comes with the price of never forgetting.
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A strong person stands up for himself. A stronger person stands up for himself while bench pressing another person standing up for himself.
seeing a mysterious portal open in the woods and just walking by. not my business.
My kid every year on picture day after I’ve purchased an $80 package
What if all the cashiers are married?
God: Hmm now where did I leave that fish? It couldn’t possibly have grown legs and walked away
Darwin: lol ur not gonna believe this
Don’t mistake my habit to look down, as modesty.I have a long history of tripping on the most ridiculous things
Me: Anyone seen my black shoes?
12yo: If you put them away when you took them off, you’d know where they are.
Someone likes to live life dangerously.
where’s Godzilla when we need him
I start, but can rarely complete my paintings and sculptures, for I am a master of the partial arts.
He asked what my favorite position was… I said CEO