my grandpa: [watching me set up an email account] your password is 8 stars?
You Might Also Like
*inventing the mirror*
“People don’t have enough to worry about.”
8:23am: *calls mom, no answer*
8:57am: *calls mom, no answer*
9:12am: *calls mom, no answer*
9:26am: *calls mom, no answer*
9:27am: *takes a shower*
9:33am: *27 missed calls from mom*
9:34am: *calls mom, no answer*
You’re never too old to set goals. For example, today I’m not going to pee in my pants.
I’m boycotting 50 Shades of Grey because it perpetuates the stereotype that men can change.
My teen changed my name in her phone to “spam risk” and she thought it was hilarious right up until she got kicked off the family plan.
Ever misread a tweet and think someone is being sarcastic so you laugh and retweet them only to realize later they weren’t being sarcastic and are really bat-shit crazy? Yeah, me neither.
i wonder if fewer people would eat Rabbit Stew if it was instead called Bunny Rabbit Stew.
Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?
Trail Mix should just be called “Dig around until you find the M&M’s”
The check engine light could be more specific…is it ‘holy shit stop the car right now’ or ‘proceed with caution for the next 6000 miles’?