@adler_chris Do not let #FyreFestival refugees into the country. We cannot risk it if even ONE of them has been radicalized.
@warhorse76 My mom used to make sure we were wearing our seatbelts in the back seat by slamming on the brakes. She was a kind soul.
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@adler_chris 
@yung__spider Jaws (1975): people started hating a shark for doing normal shark things
@joejwest “murder” she wrote
“your password must contain at least one number and one upper case letter” the screen said
“murd3R” she wrote, frowning
@KevinFarzad The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn’t just “lay in bed and watch TV all day” I traveled very far thank u
@caliluvgirl77 “I trust my boyfriend, I would never go thru his phone”
-girls who can’t figure out boyfriend’s passwords
@daemonic3 [rolls down car window]
“Sir there’s a baby on your roof!”
Wait, if the baby is there… [sees coffee strapped in car seat]
Oh thank god!
@JohnLyonTweets Email subject line: “Your invited.” Thanks, I’ll bring an apostrophe and an e.
@MichaelTrying “I am out of the office. If you need immediate help please contact customer service.”
“Dude this isn’t email I’m standing in front of you.”
@Try2StopME I wrote to the Bank: “My Cheque was returned with remark ‘Insufficient funds’. I want to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank?”
@TheAlexNevil Spider-cat: No One Home
