my nudist neighbours are moving away and selling everything and I’m thinking the washer and dryer will be worth a look
You Might Also Like
the doggo pooped out a little plastic hand so now there’s some poor Barbie running around like Luke Skywalker.
I love when you look into someone’s eyes and you can just see their face light up because they are some sort of cyborg with face lighting.
Receptionist: “The doctor will see you now.”
Invisible Man: “Finally, a cure!”
The average lifespan of a cheesecake in my house is about 2.5 hours.
Mechanic *looks up* Wow, you have a lot of problems, so much is wrong
Me: I know!
Mechanic: Your car’s fine though
Me: ok cool
I’m like that guy at the beginning of infomercials that is unable to do simple shit, i just burns everything and i cant figure out blankets.
Her: Do you like Disney?
Me (trying to flirt): I like both knees.
This quarantine is making it hard to ignore calls from people I don’t want to talk to. It’s not like I can say “Sorry mom I was at the movies.”
Gangnam style!
But it’s just me putting my pants on in the morning
Word!
