A jealous woman…can make the FBI look like mall security.
My son curses like I make love. He has no idea how to do it and someone usually yells at him and tells him to stop before he’s finished.
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Gold fish don’t like being pulled out of their tank for a cuddle.
I don’t like doing the same things again so much that I can never be a serial killer.
Anyone got any tips on how to conduct an exorcism, but like subtly?
covid positive at the same time as ur long distance crush? sars crossed lovers
Me: you can’t just be pretty. You have to be smart too!
8: But mom, you’re pretty.
Me: Awe thank……wait what?
I’d rather be an outlaw than an in-law.
Retweet if you’re naughty! Star if you love Jesus! Reply if you’d like to meet him!
If I get hurt playing Wii Sports, that’s still a sports injury, right?