@_CherriAnn_

My walk of shame is going back for a shopping cart after realizing I can’t carry 23 items in my arms through the store.

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@Adam14

I don’t know why people say life is short….this seems to be taking forever.

@TheBoydP

*Wife sends me a link*
*I click on link*
*Buy whatever’s at the link*
*wait for delivery*

~Christmas shopping for my wife

@skullpuppy11

*E=mcHammer

*when E is a constant variable that can’t be touched

@NintenDom

It’s never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she’s on a whole other level.

@sarcasticmommy4

It isn’t until your kids start talking back that you realize dogs would’ve been a better option.

@Xalqee

As if ” cray cray” wasn’t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to ” cray”….that’s just stu stu

@DannyZuker

You can learn a lot about your kids by simply turning off the TV and talking. For example I discovered that mine are really boring.

@campcrunk

My biggest skydiving fear is that the person strapped to my back will try to talk to me

@kirkfox

I do not encourage eating cats. But judging by the amount of time they spend licking themselves, I bet they are probably pretty damn tasty.