@robdelaney
@CornOnTheGoblin karate instructor: hiyah
me: hello
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@CornOnTheGoblin 
@visionbored2 Her: make this delicious snack in just five easy steps
Me, opening a chip bag in one easy step: no
@brettminor In 1993, I saw a toddler slip on ice and land on a cat, but I didn’t have any social media outlet to tell people about it. So, here it is.
@mommajessiec *Sneezes*
Dating: Bless you
Engaged: You’re adorable
Married: We need to talk
@BlastZonePod Netflix: We have Less
@ericsshadow My wife is a beautiful, kind & giving woman who also checks my TL.
@KattsDogma Meghan Trainor songs:
-All About That Bass
-Flounder’s Good Too
-Also I Like Shrimp
-Wait, I’m a Vegan
-All About That Kale
@iamburtjarvis bruce banner: [getting angry]
black widow: here eat this [hands a mint]
bruce banner: what is this?
black widow: anger manageMINT.
hulk: [sighs heavily]
@roxiqt Cows are just acoustic lawnmowers.
@GrantTanaka [jogging]
brain: let’s talk shall we
me: ok
brain: are we being chased
me: no
brain: are we chasing something
me: no
brain: so wtf are we doing then
heart & lungs: we also have questions