@Thuggedraccoon
@TheBoydP The only thing worse than getting caught sneaking alcohol into the house by your wife is being called amateur by your teen son.
You Might Also Like
@TheBoydP 
@scot7a HIGH SCHOOL BAND TEACHER: Look, you’ve failed at every other classical instrument we have. Do you think you could manage the triangle?
ME: I’ll make you proud, sir!–CONCERT NIGHT–
ME, standing outside, banging on triangle with a ladle: CONCERT’S READY, Y’ALL! COME N’ GIT IT!
@Donna_McCoy Growing up, my weather app was a window. Now I need two forecasts and a radar map just to decide how I should do my hair.
@IGotsSmarts Still wondering if Rick Astley gives up anything for Lent.
@drewtoothpaste I love it when websites pop up a box to make me subscribe to read, and I always enter my real email address because it’s important.
@juneohara65 I have a time phobia.
*looks at watch, panics
*looks at clock, panics
*looks at thyme “This I can handle.”
@nPhelendriqal Ughh…7 more hours till I can go home. Oh, sorry, my Canadian friends…7 more Kilometers till I can go home. Or is it liters?
@JimmerThatisAll This day in history. 1887. A farmer in Montana claimed he found a 15 inch long snowflake and his wife said that means it was about 3 inches.
@Laser_Cat These cats just swagged into the room like they had some serious yolo’ing to do.
@ch000ch *puts crime-scene photos in a rocket*
Ok stand back
“Detective, what are u doing?”
What does it look like, I’m launching this investigation