@trevso_electric

Next on CNN, 600 hours of guessing what happened to a plane.

You Might Also Like

@iNusku

I’ve been taking my Flintstones’ vitamins daily, but I still can’t start a car with my feet.

@CandyEmpires

Twitter: “Where people are openly Gay and secretly Republican”

@TurboJellyBean

At my funeral I want a magician to saw my coffin in half or I’m not going.

@haze103

A couple who are silly together stay together.

@Kyle_Raney

Relationship status: held a door open for a girl, so she used the other one

@JasonLastname

First rule of robbing banks is you have to shout, “THIS IS A ROBBERY!” Otherwise they might think it’s a baptism.

@booyahchadly

Before sending a tweet l always test it on my wife first. If she rolls her eyes and leaves the room, l know it has potential.

@bigmacher

I bought the wrong kind of compass. Now I’m lost in the middle of nowhere drawing perfect circles.

@JesusMcangry

*stops drinking liquids at 5pm*

BLADDER AT 3AM: still not good enough

@Home_Halfway

1) Put on chicken costume
2) Go to store to pick up eggs
3) Run up to store manager and emotionally scream “WHO DID THIS TO MY CHILDREN????”