@ceejoyner

No human will ever understand humiliation like a dog who happens to run into a wolf while wearing a sweater.

You Might Also Like

@mydmac

According to the law it’s not appropriate to put a bounty on my boss. I actually thought it showed great initiative and leadership.

@Shade510

You look like someone who keeps gloves in their glove compartment.

@PaulyPeligroso

“Oh, hey! I didn’t even recognize you!” means “I saw you and tried to avoid you, but here you are.”

@J0hnnyBlaze

Home Alone is my favorite movie about how child neglect and bad parenting is hilarious

@theB6Chronicles

WHAT DO WE WANT!?

A forum for passive aggressive behavior!

WHEN do we want it?

NOW would be great but you seem busy sooo whatever.

@LeonEarlgrey

“Two can play at that game”
-guy who’s confused about solitaire.

@Pink

There’s a woman at breakfast with a mink purse. I guess it’s important to skin an animal alive to keep your credit cards warm… Idiot

@ieatanddrink

I like telling car salesmen “Listen, we both know I’m not here to buy a car” and trying to figure out what it is they think I’m there to do