Honey Boo Boo evolves into Sugar Scab! Pokemon is back baby!
No one claims to like clowns, and yet there are clowns. What an evolutionary adaptive species they must be, clowns.
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I have a new alter ego named Princess of Optimism. You may call me Poo.
“holy crap….um guys?!” – the first caterpillar to wake up out of a cocoon
Though he came from a long line of spoons, Sammy Spork always noticed a slight resemblance to Mom’s friend Frank, the fork living next door.
Captain America: ok Avengers, we can defeat Ultron if we work as a team. Remember, no man is an island
Island Man: oh come on not this again
Old Macdonald had a really bad scrabble hand……
E – I – E – I – O…..
*washes your smart car with a moist towelette*
“We’re a completely paperless office.”
Wow, that’s really cool.
[Later, staring at iPad dispenser in bathroom]
Well this sucks.
*sets up booth, hangs up sign “$5 Mustache Rides!” *nobody shows up.
I knew I shouldn’t have named the damn pony ‘mustache’
This doctor once told me eating a bagel was like eating 5 slices of bread and I was like ok, cool, I like bread