Just a reminder, folks:
Officer: I’m arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia. Man: No wait! I can explain everything!
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I’m sending a whole bunch of emails to random Nigerians letting them know they’ve won the Canadian lottery.
employer: if you’re sick don’t come to work so you don’t spread the germs!
employee: i’m sick
employer: how sick?
“There’s approximately a 50% chance there will be weather today.”
Yo son, do you like nachos?
*son goes in for high 5*
That’s good, ’cause I’m nacho real dad
*rejects high 5*
You’re adopted lol
My kid just said good nightmare instead of goodnight, so no, I will not be sleeping this evening.
every time you say the word “turnt” a baby gets run over by a smart car
A group of eavesdroppers is called a heard.
Did you know that a cherry pie is $12 in Antigua but only $10 in Barbados?
Those arrr the pie rates of the Carribbean.
#CherriesJubileeDay #RubbishJokes #SaturdayMorning
Things that interrupt sex:
20s: drunk roommate walks in on you
30s: kids walk in on you
40s: spouse walks in on you
50s: foot cramp