@Just__J0 I got my DNA results back and found out I’m 15% “Other” and now I’m ready for the mothership to come and take me home.
@SunshineJarboly “Oh sure, they can eat their own poop, no problem. They just CAN’T eat chocolate. It’ll kill them.” – God inventing dogs.
You Might Also Like
@Just__J0 
@envydatropic According to WebMD, people are Sick & Tired of me
@brunopieroni That show “Catfish” should just be called “People Who Have Never Heard of Google.”
@Shariv67 I’m rubber. You’re glue. He’s glitter. She’s decoupage. Welcome to our crafting gang.
@junejuly12 [road trip]
My dad: Seatbelts? What seatbelts? Kids don’t need seatbelts.[hospital]
My dad: Concussion? What concussion?
@Jandalize With the money I found in the dryer, the girl in me says buy chocolate and candy, but the adult in me says buy beer, chocolate and candy.
@CMGaldre Wild bee: just getting snack
Me: no prob beeMason bee: just make house
Me: build a way bHoney bee:jus sampling the lavenders
Me: you know I got an assortmentBumble bee: hey *bonk* I jus *bonk* I h
Me: *holds flower still*Wasp: I’LL SEE U IN HELL
Me: U TELL THEM WHO SENT U
@dire_beard *points at your toddler
So does it know any tricks yet?
@supershayne stacking up 8 sneezes so I can blow them all at once
@geowizzacist (Fancy restaurant)
Me: One food please.