One of my stuffed animals just told me I should get back on my meds, I guess someone doesn’t want to be part of tea party club anymore.

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My spirit animal is this 9 yo, so calm and polite during girl sleepover drama, who just told me “literally, nothing is interesting to me”.


Online shopping is all fun and games until you have to get up and get your credit card from the other room.


My wife and I decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty hard.


Trump, 2 years into his presidency: “What do you mean we can’t just file for bankruptcy?”


Pretty disappointed to find out that “Toys for Tots” isn’t a program where I trade my kids’s toys for delicious tater tots.


Yo. Real shit. Just bcause you went and got your logo printed on some t-shirts, that does NOT mean you have a clothing company. U got shirts


the compUtah Maineframe has crashed and Idaho how to fix it. Alaska round to find out Hawaii it happened. Are Delaware of the situation?


I try not to tell people I had shoddy dental implants done, but whenever in a conversation, it just comes out.


Having a rough day? At least you’re not Courtney Love’s gynecologist.