@colleen_eileen

Quite frankly amazed I’ve never been kidnapped. I just asked the produce manager if they had more cantaloupe and he said follow me and I said okie dokie and ended up in some back room lmao

@campcrunk

My biggest skydiving fear is that the person strapped to my back will try to talk to me

@ADHDeanASL

2016: omg, Idiocracy was a documentary

2022: omg, Idiocracy was an understatement

@BrosefWtheMosef

when everyone’s out sick and you’re the only one working in the office all week

@campcrunk

My biggest skydiving fear is that the person strapped to my back will try to talk to me

@TheAndrewNadeau

MY WIFE:We named you after our favorite songs. You were mine
LAYLA: I love that
ME: And you mine
THEME FROM DUCKTALES: No, yeah, I figured

@Trisarahjtops

Hey, so I was working on an Excel spreadsheet and hit an unfamiliar function button and, long story short, now I am trapped inside it and all these numbers are mad at me

@BirdiePanda

Kinda rude that books come in volumes when librarians hate sound