@PrincesaBallena

8, peering closely at me: what’s that?

Me: my necklace

8: How do you know?

@Tbone7219

My friends have canceled our lunch plans 3 days in a row …. I’m starting to think they really don’t like lunch.

@difficultpatty

My favorite thing about teaching high school is when a student turns something in a week late and then emails two hours later because I haven’t graded it yet. It’s great.

@MMMac88

Omg Brad Pitt just followed me! How does he only have 14 followers?!?!

@Chhapiness

My kids will be late to school even if we lived inside the school

@_RobertSchultz

“can you explain this gap in your resume?” oh, yeah, that’s when i was trapped inside of a supernatural jungle-based board game

@DrSpooky_ER

I took a picture of a kid’s chest x-ray to show the family (he had pneumonia). I showed the kid and he gasped. Then in an awestruck voice he said, “I have a skeleton.”

@Parentpains

Be the reason someone gets out of bed in the morning, even if it is just to make sure the door is locked.