@dave_cactus [first date]
ME: That’s a pretty name.
CASSIE: Thank you!
ME: Is it short for Casserole?
@sixfootcandy Bear 1: Is that guy playing Nickelback on his hike?
Bear 2: Yup. Give me a minute to stretch.
@DianeP89 The feeling of peace when amongst the trees quickly disappears when you notice a coyote nonchalantly walking towards you.
@theRNbiologist 
@scot7a ME: I’m a tough, smart, practical adult, and I don’t believe in silly superstiti–
SOME OLD LADY ON THE STREET: *grabs my hand, gasps* She still thinks about you.
ME, streaming tears and snot : R-r-really?
@SvnSxty driving is absolutely insane. I’m gonna hop in this metal box and roll around so fast that hitting literally anything might kill me
@kevinthedad My 5yo asked me if we could go to someone else’s house because he says we go to our house a lot
@SalorMoon_Shine Legos cost way too much for smthg I still have to put together myself
@perlhack boss: well, happy Tuesday everybody, you know what Tuesday means!
me: haha yep ti–
boss: tacos!
me: tacos!
@ThatEricAlper 