@videojame_ me reading the group chat when nobody thinks i’m around
@badbanana Pandora has spoiled me. Five seconds into any conversation and I’m looking for the thumbs-down button.
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@videojame_ 
@PyrBliss Not having any friends means I’m always the pretty one.
@JediGigi Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Me: Wow. Nobody’s ever asked me that.
Interviewer: Take a minute to th-
Me: Arendelle.
@cat_fvr *sees people doing the mannequin challenge, brings back ice bucket challenge and dumps it on mannequin people*
@Fickle_Filly The next man who calls me deluded is going to regret it when he finds me sitting in his house wearing a wedding dress.
@leyawn richard dawkins got owned again. when will this man learn
@rachelichtman Not saying Lois Lane is a shitty reporter but my friend showed up without his glasses on today and I recognized him after like 20 minutes.
@ninjadinosaur1 I hate when I’m in a room with 3 other people, & I have to shove the entire kit kat in my mouth.
@PhilJamesson Bad Cop: The proof is in the pudding.
Good Cop: Stop putting all our evidence in pudding. Why do you keep putting our evidence in pudding?
@gintastic_ Can’t we all just binge watch season 2022 and get it over with?