Parents who have allowed your
8 yr olds to become spoiled brats …We’ll check back in 10 years to see
how that worked out for you.
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*has no girlfriend or kids*
*gives out dating and parenting advice*
Girl1: Why are you so happy?
Girl2: I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said “Parking Fine”
I want to believe in hope as much as someone who thinks that somebody might buy their old used shoes on Craigslist for $20.
me: i have a thought
twitter: are you sure you want to choose violence?
Maybe our declining vision is just nature’s way of letting us know when we’ve seen enough
*Friend sees my knuckle tats*
F: ‘MMA4LYFE,’ really?
*I put my fists by my English prof’s ‘OXFORDCO’ knuckle tats*
*we start break dancing*
[calls God on phone]
Hi, can you come get me?
Fun Fact
The Hubble Space Telescope was built to do several things, one of which is to search for intelligent life, it is pointed away from Earth!
Naming my daughter “A Relationship” so I don’t have to worry about punks wanting to be in her.
Thank God for butter because without butter all butterflies would be just flies and that sounds terrible.