[phone rings in 1984]
“Eric get the phone”
“Tell em I’m not home.”
She’s not home.
“Ask who it is.”
My mom wants to know who this is.

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Telling jokes on Twitter makes you a Comedian… The same way skinny jeans make you skinny…


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architect: ah yes, the triangle shape is strong and sturdy & the sides will be sloped so you can symbolically climb into the afterlife

pharaoh: [thinking about using it as a giant slide] yes


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*approaches girl*

“Knight to f3”


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