@radtoria
@donni “I’m in the best shape of my life!” -Newborn baby
You Might Also Like
@donni 
@Donna_McCoy Sorry I declined your Facebook friend request, but I can’t have those sideburns popping up in my news feed unannounced.
@JayMindX Cartoons made it seem like I’d be regularly hit in the head with fallen anvils, but it’s only happened to me three times.
@CCRuns I know yoga isn’t supposed to be competitive but I was definitely breathing harder than the guy next to me in class today
@obviousplant_ Left at a local drug store…
@PHDaniel_Street Samantha from Facebook wants everyone to know she & her family are going on a cruise next week just in case you want to break into her house
@MoneypennyNaked Friend: Can I borrow a pen?
Me: Sure!
*looks in purse*
*pulls out perfume, 17 Hershey kisses, a stapler & a baby goat*
Me: Sorry, no pen. 🙁
@stephenjmolloy Me with megaphone: “COME DOWN FROM THERE. YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR.”
Man: “I’m fixing your roof tiles, remember?”
Me: “I FORGOT!”
@MattMcElaney 10 years ago parents were like “be careful what you put on the web” and we were all “lol. old people.” now none of us can ever be President.
@hipstermermaid “Don’t hate me ‘cause you ain’t me.”
“No, I hate you ‘cause you say stuff like that.”